Porn is love you can see.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize