i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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