i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
