She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
