I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You pole danced in your parka.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
