The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
