I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
