is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You took a bar mat shot.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
