Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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