That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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