I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
