Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
