Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
