I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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