remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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