she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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