he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
