I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
