we have officially lost it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
