kristin has been a bad kristin
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
