im drinking this country out of the recession.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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