i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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