If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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