you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
