My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
