Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
