My hand turned me down
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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