Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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