mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
