clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
