i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i will never coherently bang her
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Randomize
