Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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