Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
