i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
