so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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