next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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