he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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