maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He did a backflip because drugs
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