I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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