Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's never too late to be topless.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
