hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I CAN MOONWALK!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
