I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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