Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
