never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize