Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
