i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need water and some morals
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
