I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
