hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
