A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
