chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
