we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
