im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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