okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
