you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
