There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
