he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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